If God were edible, not that I’m Catholic, but if it were cool to eat God, he’d be a chicken finger.” – Troy Barnes
I did see Blue Man Group! I just didn’t get it! Why can’t they talk? They have so much in common!” – Troy Barnes
How would you describe the character you play?
He’s just a liar. One of the leads, Sally Hawkins, I’m an episode in her life. I’m one of those awful stories that women carry around. But it’s also romantic in parts, and it’s sweet.
Every time I say anything, it goes to all these places. So what do I do about that? Do I not say anything anymore? Or do I go, “What are the best ways to say stuff?
There’s people that say: “It’s not fair. You have all that stuff.” I wasn’t born with it. It was a horrible process to get to this. It took me my whole life.
Those of you running your black market Airbnb housing operations in the city right now, don’t panic just yet – this law is only actionable as a secondary offense. For example, if the police show up after a noise complaint and then find you renting out your place, only then are you in extra trouble.
As long as I live under the capitalistic system, I expect to have my life influenced by the demands of moneyed people. But I will be damned if I propose to be at the beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp. This, sir, is my resignation. .
You will go from being the best-informed, most engaged students at one of the finest universities around to being the person who brings coffee to people, or a Steak n Shake waiter, as I once was.
For my first show at SNL, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.